Mar 23 2009
A Big Question Mark
For the past weeks I kept myself busy making chocolates, reading, watching TV, reading, making chocolates, then making chocolates again, uploading photos of my products, reading, watching TV… and so on and so forth.
But that was basically it.
I had thoughts a couple of times the past days in solitary confinement asking myself, “What do I really want to do in life?”
As I go back…
In grade 2, I wanted to win a beauty pageant. I wanted to join the Little Miss Philippines in Eat Bulaga. I was already thinking on what to wear and what to perform in my talent presentation. But my mom ignored me. I ended up winning in a Miss Intramurals in school though.
Somewhere along the way in gradeschool, I wanted to be a movie actress, a great painter, a politician, a musical actress, or a popular singer - none of which has been achieved so far.
Then on my last year in gradeschool, I had thoughts of becoming a nun.
Came highschool, I had thoughts of becoming a doctor. Then a lawyer. I changed my mind and I wanted to be a doctor again for the latter makes more money.
College came and I took science units as requirements, I realized I wasn’t good at it. I got accepted in some medschool then changed my mind. I backed out.
Then I am now in lawschool.
However what I am enjoying the most is baking and molding chocolates. Yes, now I want to be a baker.
I imagine myself having a bakery making and selling the freshest breads in the north with chocolates and pastries. (And making money).
Why is this post entitled, “A Big Question Mark?” - with a stress on “BIG”. Because I am in a big dilemma. I don’t know what to do in life. For I am in the crossroads. In a quarter-life crisis. For I want to do so many, but I can’t do all. I have so many options, but I don’t know what is best.
What shall I do in life? I am a member of UPLCF, Law Christian Fellowship in school and we hold bible studies almost weekly. Our bible leader told us many times, that whatever we do in life, always remember that we do it for God. - I know this sounds so corny, but isn’t God the one who knows what really is best for us?
So help me God. That whatever I’ll do, I’ll do it for You.
